When Becky was a baby, I read a good book called Differences in Common, written by a mother of an adult with DS.  It was a compilation of funny things her son had done over the years.  There was one chapter that stuck with me – the Why Me? chapter.  She talked about the fact that there were three types of people with Down syndrome – a small percentage who are very low IQ and do not realize that they have DS and they don’t care, the majority are those who know they are different, but don’t talk about it, and the other small percentage of “Why Me?”s who know they are different and constantly ask “Why can’t I…”  This article hit me hard.  I thought, I don’t want a “why me?”, but at the same time I was willing to do everything I could do to help Becky be the best she could be.  Not having the internet, or other sources of encouragement about Down syndrome, this book helped me to accept Becky’s Down syndrome.

  So, here we are 20 years later with a “Why Me?”.   I have learned to say, “Why not you?”  Work towards your goal and see if you can do it.  I have realized that we all have limits, and it is part of the learning process to figure out what those limits are.  When she tells me that she wants to live in an apartment away from home, I say OK, lets keep up your apartment here in our house, lets learn to take care of yourself independently (without all that nagging…) and we can talk more about it.  It is a motivator to learn and grow.  Failure can be a good teacher as we learn what our limits are. 

  I found a great booklet on the web one day called Down Syndrome and You produced by the Canadian Down Syndome Society at http://www.cdss.ca/blog/information/cdss-brochures/ .  I printed it and shared it with Becky one day.  She ate it up!!  It is written to adults who have Down syndrome so they can understand DS.  She is now using the premise to talk to kids at an elementary school about Down syndrome.  As I have read it and talked to Becky about it, I remembered the author’s comment from Differences in Common when she said that the kids don’t know they have DS, or don’t really want to talk about it.  I wonder if it is because they don’t understand it. 

  Part of growing up is understanding yourself including your limits.  I am glad I raised a kid to say Why not me?  Yes, it is hard to watch the failures and see thier limits, but the growth and the things they will do far outweigh the failures.  I would encourage parents to use the brochure printed by our Canadian friends and teach your kids that the sky is the limit, just like everyone else.