Watching Becky develop relationships with boys can be gruelling!  I am trying so hard to get out of the way, but still help her…

So cute! My favorite from the cruise.

In the last few weeks since we returned from the NDSC Conference and Buddy Cruise, Becky has learned an enormous amount about relationships.  We have used our new chart (see blog “Get Ready”) and we have talked about relationships alot.  Not only does she have two boys from the trip calling her from the mid-west and the east coast, but she has realized how many “guy friends” she has at home.  I think she is now understanding that we can not treat them like boyfriends  if we are just friends.  Having a boyfriend means that person is special and exclusive, and that would effect how she acts with her “guy friends”.

This summer, she has enjoyed her time with a sweet boy who has down syndrome and is blind.  She is very fond of him and they love to watch movies together.  He loves her doting and I think she loves that he likes her.  Because he is part of a group we hang out with, we see him regularly.

It is now fair and rodeo season, so her “guy friends” who do 4-H have invited her to see them show their sheep.  These trips to

At the Fair

the fair have been a good chance to catch up on their friendships.   You would remember one of these boys as Becky’s Prom date.  Unfortunately, she doesn’t see these boys very often.  She has also been invited to the Rodeo with yet another one of her “guy friends”.  These are great social outings to develop friendships.

The two boys she met on her trip call her regularly.  Unfortunately, one of them, after one night of dancing with her, is madly in love and a little obsessive.  He needs the chart!  They are not “working on the relationship” as we have taught Becky.  He has jumped right to girlfriend / boyfriend talk, calling her honey and telling her he loves her.  Without parental intervention, and a little teaching, this boy is out of the picture.  Becky reported early on that he was calling her honey and was obviously a little uncomfortable, but also flattered.  After talking to her about it, she quickly agreed that she did not want to continue this relationship.  Good learning experience!

The other boy she met on her trip is Mom and Sister’s favorite as well as Becky’s (I think).  They have Skype dates because he lives on the East Coast.  Yesterday, we had a girl pizza party and she introduced him to her friends via Skype.  Skyping has been hard because all you can do is talk.  As verbal as Becky is (she loves to talk!), she runs out of things to talk about.  They are learning how to share their lives and build a friendship through talking which is hard.  She is very proud of the fact that she is “working on this relationship” and seems to consider it more special than the rest.  It is very easy for me, as mom to insert my preferences, but I try not to.  She knows that it is not a girl friend / boy friend relationship unless they build the friendship first, and then ask each other to commit to the relationship.  For a long distant relationship, this will be much more involved, but I have always wanted to see the east coast…

One of her good friends has dove into the relationship game as well.  One of the local boys (who is a self-proclaimed ladies man) from our group has taken an interest in her and asked her to be his girlfriend.  She quickly said yes, not understanding the idea of friendship first…  Now her mom will have to go over the chart with her too!  (see blog “Get Ready”)

These kids with Down syndrome are so loving that when they get to this stage in life and want relationships, they have to be taught how to have a healthy relationship.  It is hard work, but I think it is worth it.

New Friends

“Relationships Take Hard Work” was the title of one of the workshops Becky attended as part of the NDSC Youth and Adult Conference.  At least the title made an impact on Becky.  I still haven’t heard much of the content, but she knows that relationships take work!  She has not yet entered into any exclusive relationships, just friendships, but she is learning what it means to have a friend.

I am learning alot about this new dating culture among the adults with Down syndrome.  It appears that the national conference is an annual reunion of sorts where they see old friends, and meet new friends.  Many families make this their annual vacation and the kids/adults look forward to it all year.  The Buddy Cruise, which is in its 3rd year, is also an annual event that families will probably like to do every year.  Meeting a new friend in a new state, does not seem to pose a problem in this world of electronic communication and ease of travel.  If they meet someone they are interested in, they keep in touch and get to know them.  Some families decide to visit each other through the year spending up to a month at a time in each other’s state.  Long distance relationships seem to be par for the course among the adults with Down syndrome.

At this stage in the game, it seems to be about like Jr. High to me.  The young adults fall in love after one evening of dancing and have no idea how to cultivate a friendship.  Usually known for being “loving”, they are huggy and ready to tell each other they love each other.  They are drawn to relationships simply because it is the thing to do.  In Jr. High, we felt left out if we didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Since we returned, Becky has had calls from two new friends (boys).  She also realized how much her friends (boys) here missed her.  It is dawning on her that many boys like her and she does not have to pick one exclusively right now.

Yes, Becky is planning to get married some day, but after this last conference, she is realizing that relationships do take work.  For now, she is content to bask in the glow of her suitors’ admiration.

Ready for the first dance!

As you know, last year, Becky discovered boys at the NDSC Conference.  She came home telling everyone that she had a “right” to a special friend and that the big deal at the conference was all the couples.  She has been on the lookout all year, but especially looked forward to this year’s conference and the Buddy Cruise.

Becky attended a workshop held by Jennifer Cunningham, a self advocate, and her fiancee.  They talked about relationships being hard work, and after this week, I think maybe Becky is starting to understand.  On the cruise, Troy McClain held a workshop about boundaries for relationships.  These workshops are great ideas, and give us something to talk about, but I dont think they are as effective as real life experience and learning as you go.

As Becky’s conference and cruise experience progressed, she met several young men.  Despite the fact that our family has always encouraged “lists” of characteristics that they would look for in a partner, she was desperately looking for anyone.  Age didn’t matter, or those similar interests.  After the first couple of times that she declared she had found “him”, we began discussing our lists again.  I think it did sink in a little.  By the end of the cruise, there were several boys who she had met and liked – one especially.  Of course, she spent time with him talking and hanging out as well as dancing.  I think both of them are a little more serious about life and about a relationship.  Boys with DS can be just as bad as some other boys who just want to play.

Our new friend chart

There are so many things that have to be taught compared to my other children.   This relationship stuff is hard work!  As the conversation continues, I modified a chart that I saw in one of the workshops.  It is a target with strangers on the outside and me on the inside.  The different circles represent people and how close they are to me.  We hung it on a bulletin board, and then pinned all her new friends on the target in the circle that best fit them.  She realized that she made many new friends this week, but getting a boyfriend means a little more… more work.

All in all, it was a great learning experience.  She has already had one phone call from a new friend and is planning her first Skype date with another one tonight!

Friends

My last week was spent in the presence of heros, superstars and clowns!  Two of my favorite organizations decided to put their annual get-togethers, together.  After attending the National Down Syndrome Conference in Orlando, we headed to the Bahamas on the Buddy Cruise.  At each event, we enjoyed the company of people with Down Syndrome and their families / friends.

At the Disney Coronado Hotel, the NDSC Conference workshops were mixed with Disney characters and sunshine.  I attended the pre-conference sessions for NDSC Affiliates where we networked with other groups to see what they are doing for their prospective groups.  I was very excited to hear what the Indiana group is doing to help their adults find jobs.  The next day, were the regular sessions with topics ranging from infants to adults along with a film festival.  Both nights,

there were dances!  Along with the workshops, families enjoyed the Disney parks and the swimming pool.

With a stop in Cocoa Beach in between, we headed to the Buddy Cruise, a four day cruise on Royal Caribbean which headed to Nassau, Bahamas.  There were about 150 families with a tie to a person with Down Syndrome or disabilities, including Chris Burke (Corky, Life Goes On), and Boise’s own Troy McClain (Apprentice, season one).

What a great way to spread awareness of Down Syndrome!  The kids and adults with Down Syndrome fit right in with the crowd – dancing, swimming, laughing, and snorkeling. They were definitely “More Alike than Different”!   One of our guys even won the Belly Flop contest!  We had lots of time to enjoy the ship and the sites amidst the workshops which were awesome!  In Nassau, Bahamas, we visited the Bahamian Down Syndrome Association which was a real treat to me.

Becky made lots of new friends – most of them male…  Now comes the discussions about relationships!

The next year’s NDSC Conference will be in San Antonio, TX, and the next Buddy Cruise will be a 7 day cruise to Jamaica.  How will we ever decide what we want to do??

Hey Ya’ll,

I am sorry I have neglected Becky’s Next Page… summer activities are keeping us hopping even if the weather is keeping us bundled up!  The nights are long, and the days are full!  Along with our summer social activities, and a few speeches thrown in, Becky keeps me busy, and I keep her busy!

Becky loved the horses

Becky and I made a trip to Texas in April and landed in the middle of my aunt and uncle’s cattle round up.  What a great time we had learning all the ins and outs of bringing in the cattle, and then “cutting” them.  It was like a mini rodeo that we enjoyed very much.  Becky loves the horses.

While we were there, Becky made lots of new friends and made herself an instant celebrity!  My family there is my “birth” family that I have known for 20 years, but we have not spent much time with.  Becky is the only one of my kids who has made herself right at home with this second family, the rest of them are not sure what to do with them.

iDream Art Class

iDream class certificate

In June, we started our first session of iDream classes at College of Western Idaho.  As you can see from my last post, it was a great success!  Becky had an art class and a sign language class which she thoroughly enjoyed!  On the last day, they gave out certificates and boy was she proud!

Well, it is July already and this month is full of Down Syndrome events…

Today is TVDSA’s annual picnic and the first talent show hosted by Becky’s group of adults.  This is her idea and she is sooo excited!  Pictures to come…

On July 16, almost a week away, we fly to Florida to the National DS Conference, and then on to the Buddy Cruise.  I am not sure that we will be able to concentrate at the conference with the cruise coming up right afterwards!  The day before we leave, I told my girls that we would go get manicures and pedicures for the big trip!  We will keep you up to date on that too!

August will bring a trip to Washington to see Becky’s brother graduate from LDAC Army training, and then another trip to Texas for business. Oh brother…

Of course, school will be starting, hopefully more iDream classes, and then comes the Buddy Walk in October!

Seriously, how do Moms do it?  This year, I admit, I have some help from some great nutritional supplements that keep me going through the day with plenty of energy.  www.joycepage.isagenix.com

Will try to give you some glimpses at Becky through the summer..

This is an article that was recently published in our local papers about our college program…

CWI launches iDream

Mike Vogt Mike Vogt/IPT Becky Page works with other students during a study group in learning sign language at College of Western Idaho Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Posted: Monday, June 21, 2010 12:15 am

By Gracy Howard ghoward@idahopress.com | 0 comments

NAMPA — Becky Page has always wanted to go to college. But receiving postsecondary education isn’t an easy prospect for a young adult with Down Syndrome.

Thanks to some community advocacy and support, Page is attending classes at the College of Western Idaho’s new program, iDream (Intellectual Disabilities Reaching, Educating, and Achieving More).

The iDream program is part of a movement across the nation to provide people with developmental disabilities an opportunity to pursue a postsecondary education.

How it started

Think College, an initiative of the Institute for Community Inclusion at the University of Massachusetts Boston, is a leader in the movement to provide education for mentally disabled students. According to their research, there are now more than 250 programs across 41 states that offer postsecondary education to those with developmental or intellectual disabilities.

Debra Hart, director of the Education and Transition Team for the institute, has been working to develop these new programs for the past 12 years.

“Initially, people looked at me like I had three heads and spoke a different language than they did,” she said. “Now, most events we hold are filled to capacity and very supportive. It’s really changed.”

iDream comes to Nampa

When Page’s family attended the National Down Syndrome Association’s Conference in Sacramento last July, her mother Joyce found out about Think College and postsecondary education programs for people with developmental disabilities.

Joyce Page decided to help start a program in the Nampa area and began talking to the College of Western Idaho about creating iDream. Although the community college hoped to start six classes, there were only enough students for two: “Awesome American Sign Language” and “Art, Art, and More Art.”

Both classes are held at CWI’s campus in Nampa by the Idaho Center.

“The more the student is part of the college life and community, the more the impact on their skill acquisition and their connection to the community at large,” Hart said.

She believes that programs should take full advantage of the college life and atmosphere, not separating the students with developmental disabilities from the traditional college curriculum. With the support of counselors, tutors, and teachers, Hart believes that these students can be successful in a college atmosphere — and she has the positive stories to prove it.

“Now, there’s more and more students who can be the ambassadors for this than we had before,” she said. “And that’s the major selling point.”

Can iDream grow?

Joyce Page hopes that in the future, the iDream program will be able to accommodate other students at different skill levels, perhaps even expanding to include more difficult classes and some job training. She would like to give students the opportunity to earn a certificate to show possible employers.

However, while the College of Western Idaho wants to continue cultivating the program, it will not be easy.

Barb Case, director of Community Education, said that a lack of space at the new college, in addition to limited funds, will make it difficult to grow iDream in the short-term.

“A lot of these programs take place in well-established institutions,” she said. “We’re not in a position right now to put something like that together.”

More than a degree

The greatest benefit of iDream is not necessarily academic. While the classes do offer an opportunity for students to learn new skills and concepts, the social time and age-appropriate atmosphere are crucial as well.

CWI’s iDream students hang out in the coffee shop area on campus and spend time together in between classes. Becky Page said a lot of her friends are part of the program, and they love the social time.

“Their eyes are lit up when they tell us they’re going to college,” Joyce Page said. “It’s not just about the academic; it’s about them feeling more normal.”

At their sign language class recently, 13 students and parents sat in classroom 105, learning how to sign “God Bless America.”

Teacher Michael Ames worked with each student individually, encouraging, correcting, and drawing smiles.

Becky Page may not earn a degree during her time at college, but she enjoys every minute of the experience.

“I’m doing school,” she said, “and I’m doing life.”

New video we produced for the NDSC website speaker’s bureau.  Check it out!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5UfnOKW18

It’s almost here!  This is the iDream program that I have been working on for students with intellectual disabilities.  Please pass the word so that this first session will be a success!

Thanks, Joyce

iDREAM

Nampa Campus (*NAM)

Intellectual ~ Disabilities ~ Reaching ~ Educating ~ Achieving More

Welcome to iDream

Community Education has designed classes for intellectually challenged individuals who would like to experience education and learning at CWI.  Support workers are not available and assistance must be provided during time on campus. Please participate in any or all classes and thanks for joining us!

(Class Enrollment Limited to 20 students)

Reading for Fun and Learning

Explore plot, setting, characters, and themes by using familiar and not so familiar stories along with many fun activities with teacher, Lesley McCandless.

T. & Th. 6/1-6/24 2:00p-2:50p $59

Countries Around the World

Learn world history from teacher, Lesley McCandless, by discussing and viewing movie clips from different countries.

T. & Th. 6/1-6/24 3:00p-3:50p $59

Beginning Spanish for You

Join Spanish teacher Lesley McCandless as she offers basic vocabulary and word phrases in an interactive and easy pace using engaging activities and songs.

T. & Th. 6/1-6/24 4:00p-4:50p $59

Awesome American Sign Language (ASL)

Michael Ames teaches the beautiful visual language of signing by using fingers to spell and to make numerals and symbols.

M. & W. 6/7-6/30 2:00p-2:50p $59

Art Art and More Art You will love your class with Kurt Scheffler. Don’t miss this interactive creative, fun, learning experience.                                                                                          M. & W. 6/7-6/30 3:00p-3:50p $59

Cool Drama Participate in imaginative acting focusing on natural creative play with teacher Jef Petersen.  Wear comfortable clothing.                                                                                   M. & W. 6/2-6/30 4:00p-4:50p $59

The WRAP will be sent out in the Idaho Press Tribune on the 16th and registration is scheduled to begin on the 17th.  Stop in at any CWI location.

For more information, contact IDthinkcollege@gmail.com

One Beautiful Girl!

So, here I sit eating a salad at home alone, while Becky is off to Red Robin and the prom.  Amazingly, this is not only the first prom for our family, but the first date in which I have been left at home to wait.  My older kids did

Prom pics before dinner...

not date until they were at college.  More amazing is that Becky is on her first date!!  Without me!

I am so proud of her.  She has come farther this year than I could ever dreamed.  She has done more than I could ever imagine on her road to independence.

Last year, we went to the National Down Syndrome Congress Conference and it changed our whole perspective of Down syndrome.  I am so glad we went.  If you have a child with DS, I HIGHLY recommend it – I wish I would have gone sooner.

At the conference, we saw young adults with Down syndrome who were doing all the things that young adults do, some more independently than others.  We learned about Self Direction from people around the country.  It was truly life-changing.  We are going back this July, and I look forward to another revolutionary experience.

I am just rambling now… so I better find something to do before I am tempted to go pick her up early so that I can sneak in and watch.  I have to give her a little time alone…